A Mosaic of Messy Theology - reflections on our retreat day on 8th November
On Saturday 8th November Open Table Liverpool folk and dear friends from other Open Table communities gathered at St Joseph’s Prayer Centre in Formby for a retreat day. For many years as a community we’ve taken a day away at least once a year to pause, reflect and pray. You can read about one of our early retreat days here.
This year we invited a long term friend of our community, The Revd Anne Lawlor, to lead a day reflecting on A Mosaic of Messy Theology. The theme for the day was inspired by Anne’s dissertation for her MA a few years ago. As part of her research Anne interviewed women and fem-leaning people exploring how they understand themselves to be made in the image of God in the context of a patriarchal Church.
Anne has been keen to see how to give an academic paper life beyond the desk of her tutor and hosting a retreat day to explore the themes and voices of the participants is an ideal way to do that. Anne’s prayer was that it would be a springboard to develop our spirituality and connection with God.
Anne shared some of faith journey story with participants and her discovery of feminist theology which was a liberation of and part of her journey into faith and which ultimately led to her study. In listening to people’s stories and sharing her own, Anne particularly noticed how while the “we’re not in a great place in the church” at the moment yet for many their faith is so important that they will grapple with how to reconcile their faith with the approach of the institutions they belong to.
This resonated for many of us in the room as we had all walked that journey in one way or another whether it was about gender, sexuality or even ethnicity. We have discovered the journey to uncover our true selves is a journey that we have to undertake yet is so often hindered by the Church. This reminded me of something I frequently say “I’m a Christian in spite of the Church not because of it”. We haven’t rejected our faith, just looking for places where we could express it.
All of us resonated with the reflections of the interviewees that safe spaces, to explore questions and identity, are vital and how much Open Table has been that oasis for so many of us. Having a community of people in which we can explore and discuss and support each other has made an enormous difference in our lives.
Why a Mosaic?
A mosaic is made up of small pieces which can be used to make up a ole picture. However there is always a gap between the pieces. There’s room between the pieces. This can represent many things, the hurts we experience, the gaps in our lives where God is present, our finiteness etc. The broken pieces of tile can remind of the eucharist and broken bread. In addition mosaics are not static. They are fluid, they can be changed, pull apart and remade.
Why Messy Theology?
There is an idea with academic theology of “bricolage”. That as the Church has lost its grip on society, people aren’t necessarily abandoning faith, they are exploring spirituality for themselves. Rather than listening to a top down systemic theology, people are finding their own, contextual theologies i.e. theology lived out in real life settings. The more we listen to people’s voices the louder it becomes and this grass roots theology can filter into our institutions and work for change.
Anne introduced us to her idea of mosaic using cardboard “tiles” in three different colours representing the questions she asked her interviewees accompanied by anonymised quotes:
Red - Do you perceive yourself to be made in the image of God and how do you embody the image of God?
Purple - What is my image of God?
Yellow - How do I express the image of God
We were all then invited to spend as much time as we liked to build our own mosaics reflecting on these three questions. We had a great range of craft materials with which to work and the assurance that there were no right or wrong answers nor did you have to share your work if you didn’t want to.
The setting of St Joseph’s was a perfect one for this kind of reflection with time to spend in the chapel, the room with the craft materials or out on the dunes and gardens. We were blessed with clear and mild weather allowing us to enjoy the outdoors.
After lunch we regathered to continue to conversation and share our mosaics should we wish. I found it a really helpful exercise. I don’t consider myself an artistic person, and mine was very basic yet. I won’t share a photograph of my image as it is personal to me. I found the structure of the colours and questions a really helpful way to engage and get me out of simply head knowledge and thinking. It particularly reminded me of that wonderful quote from Eph. 2: 10 whish says “you are God’s work of art” or “You are God’s masterpiece” depending on the translation.
As those who wished to shared their mosaics we placed them upon the tiles that Anne had put down earlier in the day and through continued conversation and reflection and adding items we created a mosaic of Open Table. It included our stories, stories of the community and even a banana representing the joyous and chaotic shared meals we so often have. It is indeed a Mosaic of Messy Theology and it is truly beautiful and precious.
To close the day we gathered for a Eucharist with liturgy inspired by the ideas from Anne’s research reminding us that we are made in God’s image, fearfully and wonderfully made and called to live as lights in the world.
I came away from the day refreshed and inspired. It was so good to hear stories and reflections of such diversity yet united as children of God. To end this reflection I’d like to share the final words from our communion service on the day. This is my prayer for me and for all that we do at Open Table:
So let us go out with joy.
awakened to the mosaics of treasure
within and around us,
to bring transformation, challenge and hope to the world.
In the name of Christ, Amen
