"Following the Star" pt 3. Talk at St Bride's by Dave Bradley
Readings - Matt 6.31-34 John 13.3-5 and 12-14 Mark 5.25-29
This morning we are again looking at the year ahead. Following the star….
Weren’t Helen’s stars last week lovely? Who’d have guessed she had them! Have you ever been to the planetarium on top of Liverpool museum. It’s free and fascinating. And there you are shown plenty of stars and what a mind-bogglingly big universe this is. There’s this rather battered old poster on the table to give an idea.
The solar system is massive. Voyager 1 has just become the first manufactured object to leave it and that took 35 years despite currently moving at over 10 miles a second.
But our solar system is just a tiny corner of the Milky Way galaxy. That is 100,000 light years across and light moves at 186,000 miles a second. And the Milky Way has 200 billion stars.
But the Milky Way is just a tiny corner of the local cluster of 43 Galaxies. And then our cluster is just a tiny corner of the local super-cluster of galaxies. To cap it all, our super-cluster is just a tiny tiny corner of the known universe.
Following a star. In such a universe. When we look ahead it is natural and necessary to make plans. This raises questions. How sold out on our plans are we? How vulnerable and insecure does it make us feel when they go wrong? As they will – plans go wrong all the time. It’s a big universe, there’s plenty to go wrong.
This morning we’re going to take a look at control. Some of the reasons we try to exert control. What that means for our lives, for our spiritual lives.
I’d like to start with part of my own story. For 21 years I was a tax inspector. I was a Fully trained or FT tax inspector. Things have changed now but for most of my career the tax inspectorate was sharply divided. Between Not Fully Trained or NFT inspectors, usually carrying less responsibility, and we FT inspectors who usually carried larger responsibilities. FT and NFT inspectors even usually belonged to different trade unions though I was a rebel and belonged to the PCS.
FT inspectors were meant to be resilient. And we were. We were a tough, strong-minded breed. We were employed to exercise good judgment and exercise it confidently and competently. And I accepted that confidence, that strength and resilience as a normal part of my life.
In Autumn 2008 and the early months of 2009 my job progressively changed. The job became impossible. It had always been hard and I could do hard. But impossible was new and very stressful. I applied for another job within the Revenue. That would normally have been fine but my managers made a very bad and unusual decision and refused to release me. I was trapped and subject to impossible demands. Has that ever happened to you? Trapped in a situation making impossible demands on you. What happened for you?
For me it built up to a disabling panic attack in March 2009. The sort of thing which only ever happened to other people. But suddenly it was me.
In dealing with the aftermath, the love and support of Carol, family and friends was crucial. Sharing with Sara helped. But two books were also helpful. Joseph Luciani’s ‘Self-Coaching: The Powerful Program to Beat Anxiety and Depression’. And Paul Tillich’s ‘The Courage to Be’ – a great book I’ve heard mentioned here more than once.
Much could be said about these books but this morning, we’re just looking at a few of the insights. Starting with the central role of Insecurity. Which we’ve all got – it’s our common humanity. In our big universe, negative things happen and we feel insecure, vulnerable, threatened. The fight reflex is triggered – we want to fight the threat. And that tends to make us anxious. And that tends to make us try to exert some kind of control. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. Often it’s a good thing. But it’s important to understand what’s going on, to be self-aware. Remember what Jon said last week – the light of God is within all of us waiting to be released. It’s important to face up to what may stop that release. Anxiety can stop us loving others, responding to grace and the flow of life. It can simply stop us being happy.
Anxiety can be thought of in 4 broad areas. Let’s look at each, looking at these Hotmail emoticons. One is connected with living in a Material world. Our bodies – pain, weakness, disability, death. In our environment – mistakes, failures, losing jobs, running out of money, accidents like scraping a car.
Then there is the Moral world. Shame, guilt, embarrassment, sin, letting ourselves down
We are also hard-wired for Purpose. Feelings of futility, what’s the point, loss of heart and motivation, Why? No star to follow, perhaps
The absence of Love. Feelings of loneliness, rejection, loss of emotional warmth, belonging, romance, affection, friendship, community
These are clusters, not neat boxes and are often very interconnected in our lives.
So - anxiety reflects our failures to control our lives and our losing battle with insecurity
Let’s think about religion. There are two types of religion. One tries to achieve control of life through words, laws or rituals. These can have their place but can’t truly control life. Remember the Pharisees – they thought they had everything under control. The other sort accepts and learns to live with the lack of control and for me that is true faith. The first kind may rely on creeds or liturgy or superstition to give the illusion of control. The second type is Jesus' type. The Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head. You simply trust that God, our loving parent, the person behind everything, does love us and knows what He/She is doing.
If anxiety is a very big problem for you, you may need professional help, or like to discuss it in depth with the clergy team here. But for all of us it is something of a challenge. What can we do in an everyday way? I’d like to suggest 3 Do’s and a Don’t.
1. Keep putting yourself in God’s hands. [At this point a practical exercise with eyes closed (a) fists clenched, held downwards, symbolising control. Control is often fine. Situations need controlling and it is what we are here to do. But it has its limits (b) Hands turned over, flat and open. Symbolising openness to God. Allowing the divine into our situation. (c) holding cloth between thumb and finger. Symbolising our identification with the woman who held Jesus’ cloak. Who had reached the end of her tether. Meaning – “I need help”.
God’s interventions in our life will very often be surprises. Remember Cate’s 7 foot angel and her account of God’s surprises. You can’t control Jesus. Put yourself and your anxieties in God’s hands and try to be alert and open for the surprises.
2. Treat every day as a gift. Take Jesus seriously when he says The day's own troubles are enough for the day and cast all our cares on Him. Live in the Now. Part of the now is necessary planning and preparation for the future. But that's all – just what's necessary and no more.
To illustrate the point there will now be a short dialogue between Winnie the Pooh and Piglet (Cate and Carol)
“What day is it?” asked Pooh
“It's today”, squeaked Piglet.
“My favourite day,” said Pooh.
Living in the now. Petra and Ruth’s mindfulness course may also be helpful. Mindfulness is about Living in the Now.
3. Accept that one's ability to exercise control is limited. Accept that any control one does achieve is temporary, partial, imperfect. It will come to an end and in the meantime it may not work very well. Do your best where control is needed but accept that perfect control is impossible. This act of acceptance may not be easy, and may need to be continually renewed.
What’s the don’t? Don’t try to control other people. The world doesn’t need more control freaks. Don’t let your anxiety push you into becoming one. Exercise leadership if that is your role or calling, but do it as a servant the way Jesus showed when washing the disciple’s feet. Confront if necessary but only to resist harm or to ensure things are done properly, not to exert your personal control. It’s better to listen than throw your weight around.
So – Live in the Now, accept that control is imperfect, keep putting yourself in God’s hands, and don’t be a control freak. Have a lovely year. And remember to look at the stars.
Topics for discussion.
How can grace flow if our need to control dominates us or if our anxieties push us around and call the shots?
Is Jesus asking too much in encouraging us to live in the now, cast our cares on him and not be anxious.
Does the fact that this is a mind-bogglingly vast universe make any difference to how you feel about life, God and anxiety?