Faith, Hope, Love and Pride - A reflection at Open Table #lgbtqia+ #comeasyouare
The Revd Alan Brooks led Open Table’s online service on Sunday 19th July ahead of what would have been the Pride in Liverpool festival on 25th July 2020. The reading was Mark 6:30-34, 53 to end.
This evening’s Bible reading from St Mark’s Gospel has always resonated with something deep within me.
‘Jesus, seeing the crowds, was moved with deep compassion for them – for they were like sheep without a shepherd.’
My dad had been a shepherd, often staying out all night with pregnant ewes helping as they birthed their lambs. He spent many days checking on the growth and health of his flock. He mended fences and hedges to prevent them from straying. He checked on them regularly and got to know that sheep have characters much like us - wayward, stubborn, the strong willed, the weak and timid needing special attention. Feet were checked for foot-rot, and their bodies for invasive ticks. I had included sheep in the design of my ordination scarf which my parish gave me in 2001. Now, I thought, like Dad, I am a shepherd - to minister to others as Jesus the Good Shepherd ministers to me.
During the winter of 2010/11, I was on sabbatical leave and took the opportunity to visit churches other than those I knew in Waterloo and Crosby - and those that reflected a spirituality other than the rather strict Evangelicalism that had supported my faith journey so far.
PHOTO 1: Urban Mission - Icon by Yvonne Bell, presented to Open table Liverpool by Rt Revd Paul Bayes, Bishop of Liverpool
Nothing prepared me for Open Table!
On a cold winter night I travelled to St Bride’s with great trepidation and many questions, from ‘How do I get in?’ and ‘Will I know anyone there?’ to ‘Should I even be there?’
Well, the fact that I had made it to the door together with an intense curiosity as to what Open Table was all about propelled me into a small group of very ordinary looking folk. As I looked around I was soon spotted by Kieran, who immediately walked over and gave me a warm welcome, introduced me to others who guided me through the service and shared coffee and friendship - you all know what I mean!
The rest is history. Suffice to say I had discovered a safe, sacred space to explore, learn, receive and give. I had found a new flock, with excellent shepherds.
PHOTO 1: This modern-day icon was presented to Open Table Liverpool by Bishop Paul Bayes when he preached and celebrated with us. Here Jesus is depicted surrounded by a host of folk often thought of as living on the margins of the church or society in general- folk seldom seen or who feel welcomed at the Lord’s Table.
Photo 2: Alan minding the Open Table Stall at Liverpool PRide in 2015
By 2015 I felt sufficiently confident to offer my services to help at Liverpool Pride - No, not to join the parade, that would be too public, too ‘out’, but simply to look after the Open Table stall. Here I am at our table [PHOTO 2]. To my amazement I thoroughly enjoyed the experience - and was surprised by how many folk interacted with us and wanted to write a prayer or simply have a chat!
I was sorry to have missed the march and as soon as Kieran and Warren had returned I dashed out of the great tent to ‘mingle’. I met pupils and parents from my old school - ‘Hello, Mr Brooks, what are you doing here?’ Oh my goodness, I had been spotted!
But by then I was being carried away with the sheer joy and exuberance of the occasion. Then [PHOTO 3] I spotted Daniel Brocklebank, the actor who played the gay vicar in Coronation Street, who just happened to be passing by St George’s Hall with another actor, Jonny Labey [whose Eastenders character, Paul Coker, was having a steamy gay relationship with Ben Mitchell]. They were in town to promote their new short film, Soft Lad. Wow! That was icing on the cake for me. That was day I shall never forget - and a turning point in my life.
PHOTO 3: Alan and Daniel Brocklebank
Now, pride is one of the 7 deadly sins - Should we as Christians attend Pride? Warren helped me understand - ‘Think of pride not as arrogance or vanity but as self-esteem and acceptance - the opposite of the shame we all experience.’
I guess that most of us g know what it is to feel shame - to be told you cannot be who you know you are: ‘It’s wrong - the Bible says so’, ‘You’ll go to Hell’ etc. Matthew Todd, in his book Straight Jacket: overcoming society’s Gay Shame, explains how shame arises, leads to denial, self loathing and rejection, and, for too many people, mental ill-health, addiction, even suicide. Todd speaks for many…
‘Deep inside, in a way we cannot understand or articulate we feel that we are somehow flawed, bad, unlovable, and that we have to fight against who we are in-order to survive.’
PHOTO 4: Alan’s Pride Placard - ‘Loved as you are’
So often we internalise homophobia and become our own worst enemies. Too many Christian churches teach and use shame to coerce believers to be what they are not, and where homophobia is a prerequisite to membership. The son of a good friend of mine began attending a charismatic free-church whilst at university and a few weeks after joining the worship band was asked to become a church member and complete the required ‘Statement of Belief.’ Discovering that there was a paragraph against equal marriage he refused to sign. Consequently, he was denied membership of both the church and the worship group - and he and his girl-friend did not return to that particular church!
The tragic case of the suicide of 14 year old Lizzie Lowe so shocked the church of St James and Emmanuel, Didsbury, that, after much heart searching, they now are an affirming church and host Didsbury Pride in the church grounds! They include LGBT+ members within their leadership team - who now welcome straight people to come and worship with them!
Pride in Liverpool commemorates the horrific murder of 18 yr old Michael Causer in 2008. His parents and family members lead our march each year. For me, Pride is a time of exuberant celebration of all things LGBTQIA+. It is also a wonderful opportunity to affirm God’s love for all his rainbow children. Open Table member Richard encouraged us to produce our own placards [PHOTO 4} Here’s one I did earlier! Joining the Pride march the next year made me realise that I was receiving as much love and acceptance as I thought I was giving!
I am always amazed at just how many thousands of Scousers come to see, applaud and affirm us. Just a tiny few come to shame us - they haven’t a chance - we have discovered our tribe, our family.
This tribe, this family is no longer alone - nor are we ‘sheep without a shepherd’. Bishop Paul, who has become a Patron of Liverpool City Region Pride, joins the march as often as he is able. Let’s look again at the icon he gave to us [See right]
Look at Jesus surrounded by the marginalised, the outcasts, those shamed for being who they are. The message is clear: ‘All are welcome in this place’ - so we can ‘Come as we are!’
I conclude with these three simple truths:
FAITH: God loves us, we are not alone - believe it - live it!
LOVE: God is FOR us not against us - receive it - share it!
HOPE: The best is yet to be! - embrace it - and work together for it!